Kallis - doing South Africa a favour?
If ever the reality that Jacques Kallis should not be standing in as South Africa's captain was epitomised, it was over 11 of England's reply in the rain-reduced clash on Sunday.
Struggling in their pursuit of 137 runs in 20 overs, the hosts had Owais Shah and Kevin Pietersen at the crease, still finding their feet and batting at under a run a ball.
However, momentum soon swung as the stop-gap skipper erroneously turned to himself for another breakthrough or at least a moderately cheap over, neither of which transpired.
Instead, with the inexpensive Dale Steyn and Andre Nel watching on from the outfield, Kallis' inexplicable and subsequently solitary over saw his short-of-a-length fodder cross the boundary four times, one of which sailed over midwicket to end the 20-run pillage.
With that, England's required run-rate (closing in on nine before Kallis 'entrusted' himself with the ball) fell to a smidgeon over seven, and the tables were well and truly turned.
The rest, as the old adage goes, is history as Shah, Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff went on to finish off what Kallis started.
It's not so much the expense of the six balls, but the struggling all-rounder's approach to them. When trying to lead from the front and by example, pitching short four times out of six to a couple of batsmen renowned for their mercilessness on the pull is daft.
Compounding the questionable feasibility of Kallis' stint at the helm, are three other occurrences at Lord's that surely left those adverse to the 32-year-old's leadership ability with further bitter disdain...
Firstly, his reaction to his dubious dismissal was inappropriate. The better man would have walked without question, without kicking up a fuss à la Kallis. What sort of example is that for youngsters filing through the ranks to follow? None at all, to be quite frank.
Secondly, why was the sluggish Vernon Philander turned to in the dwindling light? With England keen to play on in the encroaching darkness in their quest for one more win in what will probably be a series whitewash, one of the speedsters should have been turned to. You can bet your bottom Dollar, struggling rand or wavering Pound that had it been Ricky Ponting in Kallis' position, Brett Lee or Mitchell Johnson would have been pounding in from The Nursery End.
But no, it was Philander's pedestrian pace that was duly dispatched to the ropes in what proved to be the penultimate over of the match. By the time Nel returned to the attack, the horse was bolted.
Finally, patriotic supporters fast losing their patience don't want to hear that "the dressing room is down" and "morale is obviously low", as was the case in Kallis' post-match lamentation. They want their leader inspiring hope of revival and talking about how things can improve next time around. "We pride ourselves on our results and even though there were positive signs here, we don't accept losses very well," Kallis murmured to Mike Atherton in front of boos aplenty. "We hope we can learn quickly and turn things around." The truth, no matter how much it hurts, is what the Saffer public deserve. Not the losing captain's textbook dribble.
"If it's as a stand-in and an emergency I don't think he will say no to helping the team out," Mark Boucher recently said of Kallis stepping in for the 'tennis-elbowed' Smith. Unfortunately, the chap who once threw his toys and the vice-captaincy out the cot upon being left out of the World Twenty20 squad seems to view his captaincy as just that - a favour to his team.
This lackadaisical attitude is evidently biting Kallis the batsman and Kallis the respected senior, not to mention the Proteas' pained cause, in the proverbial rear end.
Jonhenry Wilson