Musing The Week's Media
The Media Column wants the phone number of this bloke's lawyers.
Inevitably Changing Tune
"I am sure that (expelling Zimbabwe) will be in the minds of many of the delegates. I think there is every chance that it could happen, but it would be a very difficult decision." - David Morgan, June 26
"The full membership of Zimbabwe is currently not in doubt. There was not even a discussion on the issue of Zimbabwe's membership." - David Morgan on Cricinfo, July 4
What ever could have gone so wrong there, David?
After all, it's not like they could have forgotten. A quick glance at their surroundings would be enough to remind them that, for the first time since 1909, the board was not meeting at Lord's - a consequence of ZC chairman Peter Chingoka's inability to secure a UK visa.
And of course the empty chair at the table might have been a reminder, with Malcolm Speed finishing his long stint as CEO on gardening leave after (according to Morgan) a "fundamental breakdown in the relationship between the CEO and a number of board members over a variety of issues that include Zimbabwe".
Perhaps the best place to find an explanation is from Mr Chingoka, who told Cricinfo: "We are now looking forward to more tours and international cricket with our Asian friends, especially India."
But Hang On...
That may explain Morgan's peculiar turnaround, but a quick look back to April 8 makes one wonder about the 'cricket' part of Mr Chingoka's enthusiasm.
From C365: 'India have cancelled their tour of Zimbabwe, scheduled to take place at the end of May, because the dates clash with the launch of the Indian Premier League.
'The week-long tour, which was to have comprised three one-day internationals, was part of the International Cricket Council's Future Tours programme.
'But the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) has said it has told Zimbabwean authorities that the national team was "very busy" and would be unable to tour.'
Someone's Got Great Lawyers
November 1, 2006: 'Shoaib Akhtar has been banned from cricket for two years and Mohammad Asif for one, after both were found guilty of using the banned anabolic steroid nandrolone, by a three-man drugs tribunal formed by the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB).' - Cricinfo
December 5, 2006: 'Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif have been acquitted by the tribunal appointed to review their appeals against the drugs ban imposed on them by an earlier committee.' - Cricinfo
April 1, 2008: 'Pakistan fast bowler Shoaib Akhtar, 32, has been banned for five years by a disciplinary committee of the PCB for violating the players' code of conduct.' - Cricinfo
July 4, 2008: 'The Lahore High Court has suspended a ban imposed by an appellate tribunal on Shoaib Akhtar pending a final decision in September.' - C365
A Fortnight is a Long Time in Cricket
Match One report: 'For the second time in three days England registered a comprehensive win against a New Zealand side steeped in one-day culture over Tests and successful with it, but now a punctured, dispirited and scarcely competitive unit, depleted by retirements, injury and circumstance.' Mike Selvey, Guardian, 16th June.
Match five report: 'Inevitably and dismally, Kiwis expose England's lack of fibre and one-day nous' - Mike Selvey, Guardian, 30th June.
Click here to see how England's journalists are no better value than their players when it comes to understanding one-day cricket.
Glass Houses Moment of the Week
ZC bigwig and Mugabe henchman Peter Chingoka has denounced ICC discussions of Zimbabwe's status as '"unethical", adding it was an "agenda item infested with political connotations". He concluded by asking: "Whose political gallery are these antics supposed to appease?"' - Cricinfo, 30th June.
Like Rain On Your Wedding Day
"Ironically, a change to the rules was proposed two years ago to allow more immediate action to be taken. Chingoka opposed it at the time and the move was defeated after India indicated they would not support it." - Cricinfo, 30th June.
So: greedy, self-serving people acted in their own best interests two years ago and continue to do so? Why, that's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.
Glass Houses Moment of the Week 2
Pakistan coach Geoff Lawson has taken to playing hard-ball with the media, telling journalists, "If you're rude I'll have to leave."
A fine sentiment rather undermined by seconds earlier dismissing another hapless hack's enquiry with, "Improve your English!"
Jumbled Quote Of The Week
"I really don't know. I wouldn't have a clue. I can't answer that question. I don't know. It's a very difficult question for me to answer in terms of how the batting has gone." - Kevin Pietersen in response to why England's batting had struggled in the series against New Zealand after they made 307 for five in the first one-day international at Chester-le-Street. He subsequently went on to answer the question.
Non-Cricket Story Of The Week
'An American man who was born female but underwent gender realignment, has given birth to a female baby, US media have reported. Thomas Beatie, 34, is legally male but kept his female reproductive organs after having breast surgery to remove glands and flatten his chest. Both Mr Beatie and his daughter are reported to be doing well in a hospital in Bend, Oregon. He was inseminated using sperm from an anonymous donor. The birth was natural, a source at St Charles Medical Center in Bend told ABC News, and took place on Sunday.' - The BBC Website.
Runner-Up
'An Air India flight headed for Mumbai overshot its destination and was halfway to Goa before its dozing pilots were woken out of a deep slumber by air-traffic control, a report said. The high-altitude nap took place approximately two weeks ago, the Times of India reported on Thursday. About 100 passengers were on board the state-run flight that originated from Dubai and flew to the western Indian city of Jaipur before heading south to Mumbai when both pilots fell asleep, a source told the paper.' - MG.co.za.
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